The Rebellion is Over - or - War is Obsolete

When I was about 12, I complained to my mom about a class or teacher or something, and she told me the following story:

When your big sister was in AP History, she struggled a lot.  And one day I walked into her room and saw that she'd hung a banner on her wall that said "WAR ON HISTORY."  Instead of complaining or giving up, she decided she'd fight to get an A in that class, and you know what?  She did.  


I, of course, was irritated by the story at first, because that is how 12 year-olds respond to parental guidance, and then after a day or so I was like, "Yeah!  I can do this!  War on *whatever it was*!"  And I'll be damned if it didn't work - because it became a standard tactic in my toolbox for overcoming things.

When I was 13 at boarding school, I employed War on History to my Algebra 2 teacher, because she made me crazy.  By the end of the class, we were best friends.  I made her love me.  I decided I would make any sacrifice - even getting F's in all other classes to make Mrs. Macintosh love me.  It worked.

I moved out belligerently when I was 17 because I was declaring War on my Parents.  I was going to show them how much I didn't need their expectations, their rules and requirements, or their love.

I would declare War on boys I was attracted to - "I will MAKE him love me."  It usually worked.

I would declare War to run faster, lose weight, eat healthy, starve-myself-for-Kenya-for-two-months, ad nauseum...

...and on and on for over a decade.  Declaring war was how I accomplished things.  It was how I decided what to go for in life.  Sometimes it worked, and sometimes it didn't - but in general, I controlled my life because if anything else even threatened power over me, I declared war on it and worked towards overpowering it.

Something has happened to me in the past 2 years though.  Suddenly, declaring war is harder to do.  Beyond simply being exhausted by living my life on a battleground, I realized that more often than not, the things I declare war about aren't worth fighting for.  It's not worth a gigantic emotional battle to try and control your love for me.  It's not worth sleepless nights, haunting schedules, and false personas to make a business succeed - I hate business.  I hate capitalism.  Wait ... what am I doing?  What is my life all about???

---

Fast forward, to last night.  Last night, my sister Sunny Jo was doing an emotional balance treatment/exercise with me.  As we discussed in particular my weight issues, she told me that she once had a client that realized she gained weight as a way to retaliate against her health-conscious parents.  And she realized, in her 40's, that there's really no point in rebelling any more against her parents.  "The Rebellion is Over became her mantra," Sunny explained.

I thought about that.

The Rebellion is Over.

It made me think of Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities, and the Reign of Terror that followed the French Revolution, as I understand it.  People were due to revolt, to declare war.  But once the aristocracy was eliminated, these people were impassioned for battle -- bloodthirsty in general -- and began finding excuses to kill more, to hunt more, and to have more war in general.  Why did they not realize The Rebellion is Over? ...

When did they stop being peasants, and become warriors?  And if we are warriors, and there is no war, what are we to do?

I think society shows us what we do - we declare war on everything.  War on Islam!  War on Homosexuals!  War on Terror!  War on Drugs!  War on Poverty!  War on Free Speech!  War on Sharing!  War on Kindness!  War on Neighbors, Family Members, Friends and anything else that we come up with!  War on War!  ... War on Peace!

How ironic that my initial exposure to this very principle was "War on History!"

So ... when is the Rebellion Over?

It's been over for a long time.  And so many of us are still out fighting windmills.

---

As I was talking to Sunny Jo, she said, "Why don't you exercise and eat well?  Why not?"  I replied, "Because I don't want to be one of 'those people.'  I don't want image, and dietary restrictions, and I'm-so-athletic, and god-you-look-great to rule my life."  Sunny responded, "So ... you're rebelling against ... 'them'?  Whoever they are? ... Holly, the Rebellion is Over."

Oh.


So I'd love to hear what you do with this thought, and I'm contemplating what I do about it.  To this day, how many of my decisions do I make because I'm FIGHTING?  When will I know peace?  I'm tired of fighting for my rights, fighting my weight, fighting traffic, fighting for freedom, fighting until the end...  When will I know peace?

Now.  The Rebellion is Over.

Fighting is obsolete.

How?  Because every battle I fought yesterday was an imaginary battle that I created to validate myself as a tough, stripling warrior.


But if I want to know peace in my life, I have to stop fighting!  It isn't a change in behavior, but a change in attitude and thinking.  When things go wrong, instead of feeling threatened or ambushed or judged, I could just smile and think, "That's interesting.  Good thing the Rebellion is Over!"  And then what happens next doesn't matter.  I'm at peace.  That's all I care about.  When I beat myself up because I'm becoming a deplorable warrior, I can just stop and say, "How appropriate - given that the Rebellion is Over..." And then I'm at peace.  What follows doesn't matter.

What an astonishing revelation!  The Rebellion is Over.


(Many thanks to SunJo, dRM, and J for being Lights in my life and encouraging/helping me lay down my weapons.)