Spiritual Memoir #2: The greatest job ever handed to me

For an explanation of this Spiritual Memoir 

blog series see THIS post.

Radiant Rider Waite Deck

Tarot Card: Ace of Pentacles

(See pics in this post from various decks)

My Interpretations of the Card

"Here is a possibility to have what you seek ... but that has been stamped with what you truly need."

An ace card indicates the presentation of a possibility, and pentacles are the suit of the tarot that represent the material world: health, wealth, nature, career ... those tangible things that make up our day-to-day life.   The ace of pentacles brings a promise of new possibility outside of us, but with a quiet hint of growth in all directions.  The pentacle is a coin, a material offering, but is etched with the five-sided star; five points representing earth, air, fire, water and ether/spirit; five points for each of the five suits of the tarot (four minors, one major); five points representing the arms, legs, and head of a human body; the number five representing challenge.  The new possibility outside of us will touch and create growth in every aspect of our being, but is offered in the form of simple material gain.

In the Rider Waite symbolism, there is a path below a pentacle presented as a gift from heaven.  The path illustrates that this offering is the beginning of a process, the promise of a possibility - not just a freebie in and of itself.  In the Steampunk tarot, the ace of pentacles is the gift of a pot of gold at the beginning of the path, that shines a light into the sky of the possibilities of greater gain.  In both of these decks, the pentacle is not a little coin in the hand, but a coin so large it completely fills the hand.  A fullness, a satiation.  Another representation of this card's energy that I really like is from the Universal Fantasy tarot.  Here the pentacle is more like the balloon that lifts a ship.  It looks like a brain to me.  It is giving the passengers wider perspective of the world around them.  I feel like it sends the message of a possibility arising that if executed smartly, will open the perspective of a person to seeing the big picture of what the world has to offer them.  

Steampunk Deck

Spiritual Memoir: Ace of Pentacles

I pulled this card several hours ago, and immediately thought, "Uh-oh!"  I couldn't, for the life of me, extract from my memory a spiritual experience relating to the ace of pentacles.  So I typed and typed out possibilities, and then got a clearer picture of what this card is really about, and how it relates to me.  Here we go...

In March of 2009 I was 26 years old, with a Bachelor's in Business/Marketing, fluent in three languages, had just run my first marathon and at the peak of physical shape, had been to over 30 countries in the world ... etc, etc, ... and  felt completely unfulfilled in life.  It was all stupid - for nothing.  None of my accomplishments meant anything - it all looked cool on paper and made for great bragging rights to others, but seriously, who cared?  I had also just recently broken up with my boyfriend of two years because that relationship felt unfulfilling too.  So I got a job as a waitress at a Sport's Bar, became my sister-in-law's "personal assistant" (read: doing her laundry, hanging out with her, organizing some files for her business, etc.), and drank half a bottle of blueberry vodka with club soda every night while reading Twilight.  Yep.  That was my life.

My sister, Crystal, had recently started working with my Dad, who was taking some small charity projects he'd been doing in Kenya and working on transforming them into a full-blown, full-scale international development organization.  I'd gone to Kenya the year before to scope out some of his work, but it all seemed dumb to me (in my whoopdi-shit attitude of that era).  Crystal was my best friend, and kept inviting me to do stuff with her for the business because I was pretty much floating around in my life at that time, doing nothing much anyway.  But my relationship was still kinda rocky with my Dad, and I didn't get involved.  

Universal Fantasy Deck

When Crystal and Dad were heading out to Kenya for a month, they had just contracted a marketing company to do some stuff for them.  Since I had a degree in marketing, Dad asked if I'd work along with the contractors while he and Crys were out of town.  I agreed, only because when I met the CEO of the marketing company I immediately had a crush on him.

By the time Crystal and Dad got back. I was fully immersed in the business, and volunteered to chair the upcoming fundraiser "The Princess Festival."  I fell so deeply in love with the work we were doing, that six months after the Princess Festival ended, Dad promoted me to Executive Director (CEO) of the charity.

Working for the organization changed my life forever.  I don't have room in this post to go over it all, but it both challenged (i.e. completely traumatized) and rewarded (i.e. completely redefined) me emotionally, spiritually, mentally, materially, socially, romantically, politically ...  I almost can't remember who I was before this experience, or really who I was during it ... everything changed so quickly and so dramatically.  Everything about me reformed; everything died, but was reborn and grew, then died again but came back ... different, stronger ... better.

This is like the Ace of Pentacles.  Here, out of the blue, my sister and Dad called me up and offered me a little task in the company - like a hand from heaven reaching out and showing me a possibility of finally tasting something worthwhile in my life.  I saw the path, a little pot of gold on it in the beginning, liked it, and took a few steps forward.  I didn't ask to be a part of what they were doing, I wasn't seeking it.  It just fell out of the sky.  (And they say they didn't really feel "moved" to invite me to be a part of it.  It just came together.)

It was a possibility.  A possibility in the form of a job.  But a job that had stamped on it the pentagram, the five-fold  opportunity for growth.  I saw the job, saw the people, saw the world in need, and decided to try and believe in the possibility of a meaningful life again.  I took a step on the path, and started a very interesting journey...I was gifted a job that would stretch me in every imaginable way ... right at the moment when I'd stopped believing that a career could ever be fulfilling.

Spiritually speaking, I feel like the message is that all material things in life, everything outside of us, is stamped with the sacred five-pointed star of holistic growth.  When we are offered opportunities, or even when we seek them, to progress materially (health, wealth, career, world), it always comes with a package deal of every aspect of our being.  Of our Being.  It is impossible to have our experience be one-sided.  And that is, in my opinion, a reassurance that nothing is vain, nothing can be purely cosmetic.  That feels comforting to me.