For an explanation of this Spiritual Memoir
blog series, see THIS post.
blog series, see THIS post.
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| Radiant Rider Waite Tarot |
Tarot Card: Four of Wands
(See pics in this post from various decks)
(See pics in this post from various decks)
My Interpretations of the Card
"The first-fruits of independently mastering one's creative power"
"The first-fruits of independently mastering one's creative power"
Ahhh...the first victory of the wands suit - it isn't total fulfillment or seeing something through to completion, but a stability, an achievement.
Wands are interesting cards. They symbolize the element of fire, and are an active male force (as evidenced by their phallic shape). Fire represents passion, creativity and to a certain extent sexuality. They are tied strongly to second-chakra energy.
Fire, passion and sexuality are all exciting things, but it's important to keep them in check, to understand their power to consume our time, attention, and relationships. For this reason, the four of wands is an important card - because boundaries have been established, and the fire contained to a point of it actually supporting a laurel full of fruits and life. In the Rider Waite symbolism, two women raise cheers of celebration for the accomplishment of mastery of the fire. The wands are close to a large city, and the inhabitants look secure and comfortable with the proximity. I can't help but wonder, though, if the small bridge in the right-hand corner insinuates a stream separates the city from the fire of the wands. If the town represents our home and lives, our habits, or even the hegemony of the culture we live in, this mastery of passion and creativity has happened outside of the circle of familiarity - it's been compartmentalized but not hidden. And it is accepted by the townspeople, it is celebrated.
In the Legacy of the Divine tarot the four wands create a center of life and prosperity in the midst of destruction and death. I find it interesting that it looks like everything outside of the wands is burning, since wands themselves represent fire. It looks like the crystals at the tops of the wands are tempering the fiery heat from the sun to allow life to prosper inside of their perimeter. Once again, the small victory over fire, the establishment of success and safety using the power of fire. Beautiful!
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| Legacy of the Divine Tarot |
Spiritual Memoir: Four of Wands
About two weeks ago (April 2012), I was lying in my bed one afternoon, thinking about how delicious death sounded. Life just felt ... flavorless, pointless, like a rat race in an endless maze of dead ends and disappointments. I'd been dedicating my life to "connecting with God" but found myself without the energy to really do more than just hope and think about it, and only on occasion. It all felt so hard, so pointless, so out-of-reach. "God," I would pray, "make this better, give me the energy, the strength, the desire to feel like anything in this life is worth pursuing." In response, I felt nothing.
Exasperated, I went to the A Course in Miracles study group that I lead, and found my good friends Gail and Gary Sauter there. After some small talk about gardening, I expressed my frustration. The frustration had been building up for over a month, and these wonderful friends had been privy to my mounting depression, and had always offered insightful, loving support and recommendations. This time, though, I was done listening to them too - everything seemed terminally hopeful, without ever yielding fruits.
I posted a little about this experience in a previous post (see HERE), so I won't recap everything, but in short, I started reading Conversations with God, by Neale Donald Walsch, and there was a passage that struck me. I don't have the book in front of me (bah!), but I found this quote from his website that says the same thing as the passage in the book:
Hmm...
A snap decision: I'm going to feel better. Everything I encounter in life is going to be interesting and mysterious and adventurous for me! I'm not waiting for anyone or anything to step in ... I'm going to use my creative birthright and make this life how I want it. Immediately, the clouds dissipated, and sun shone in my heart and mind again.
Like the four of wands, I decided to harness my creative power, to step out, independent of the city, of God, of culture, of anything, and start building my own world and life. I like the Tarot of the Magical Forest, where the four wands look like they're the framing for a new house, separate from the main house of the estate. It isn't about building on an addition to the existing home, to the status quo, to someone else's vision ... but stepping out and beginning the structure of my own experience. I can go tour their mansion and get tips and ideas, but my life is my mansion, my creation.
Like in the Legacy of the Divine tarot, my creative power will redirect the scorching heat of fire to establishing my own oasis of peace and life. But I have to channel it - nobody's going to do it for me.
And like in the Rider Waite card, the people from the city, the passersby, are cheering me on. They aren't afraid of me competing, or withdrawing, but are celebrating that I've come up with my own design for my life. I am not alone in this, never alone, but I am the foreman (or forewoman as it were), I call the shots.
I'll admit, that I have found myself backsliding here and there into the negative space of feeling life is acting upon me, or stagnant and stuck ... and it's a slippery slope. But every time I step back into the driver's seat and say, "What if this is actually fun? What if my life is actually delightful?" the clouds of my mind disappear and everything is bright and interesting again. I think it's just a matter of habit. Retraining habits. And keeping the creative fire working within the four-wanded blueprint I've chosen for it: happy, delightful life.
About two weeks ago (April 2012), I was lying in my bed one afternoon, thinking about how delicious death sounded. Life just felt ... flavorless, pointless, like a rat race in an endless maze of dead ends and disappointments. I'd been dedicating my life to "connecting with God" but found myself without the energy to really do more than just hope and think about it, and only on occasion. It all felt so hard, so pointless, so out-of-reach. "God," I would pray, "make this better, give me the energy, the strength, the desire to feel like anything in this life is worth pursuing." In response, I felt nothing.
Exasperated, I went to the A Course in Miracles study group that I lead, and found my good friends Gail and Gary Sauter there. After some small talk about gardening, I expressed my frustration. The frustration had been building up for over a month, and these wonderful friends had been privy to my mounting depression, and had always offered insightful, loving support and recommendations. This time, though, I was done listening to them too - everything seemed terminally hopeful, without ever yielding fruits.
I posted a little about this experience in a previous post (see HERE), so I won't recap everything, but in short, I started reading Conversations with God, by Neale Donald Walsch, and there was a passage that struck me. I don't have the book in front of me (bah!), but I found this quote from his website that says the same thing as the passage in the book:
"You were created to create - not to react.
Creation is the highest form of Divinity, and your birthright. Truth is, you are creating all the time. The central question in your life is whether you are doing this consciously or unconsciously.
Conscious creation is what is needed now. Stop moping. And stop thinking negative thoughts. Just get on with it! Tomorrow awaits your choice as to how its going to be. Call the shots! Make it happen! You're in charge here." (my emphasis)Here's the epiphany: in my praying and moping, I kept saying "God do this, and God do that - make me feel better, open my vision, fill my heart, etc., etc" ... but this quote made me realize that my life is my creation, not God's. I call the shots. I decide how it's going to look. I am the source of my own feelings, my own vision, my own love, etc. God cheers me on and loves me, but God doesn't create anything for me - She has empowered me to do that for myself!
Hmm...
A snap decision: I'm going to feel better. Everything I encounter in life is going to be interesting and mysterious and adventurous for me! I'm not waiting for anyone or anything to step in ... I'm going to use my creative birthright and make this life how I want it. Immediately, the clouds dissipated, and sun shone in my heart and mind again.
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| Tarot of the Magical Forest |
Like in the Legacy of the Divine tarot, my creative power will redirect the scorching heat of fire to establishing my own oasis of peace and life. But I have to channel it - nobody's going to do it for me.
And like in the Rider Waite card, the people from the city, the passersby, are cheering me on. They aren't afraid of me competing, or withdrawing, but are celebrating that I've come up with my own design for my life. I am not alone in this, never alone, but I am the foreman (or forewoman as it were), I call the shots.
I'll admit, that I have found myself backsliding here and there into the negative space of feeling life is acting upon me, or stagnant and stuck ... and it's a slippery slope. But every time I step back into the driver's seat and say, "What if this is actually fun? What if my life is actually delightful?" the clouds of my mind disappear and everything is bright and interesting again. I think it's just a matter of habit. Retraining habits. And keeping the creative fire working within the four-wanded blueprint I've chosen for it: happy, delightful life.
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